Paraprosdokians

 A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to re-frame or reinterpret the firstpart. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect. 
Do not argue with an idiot.  He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act inpublic.
War does not determine who is right--only who is left.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.  To steal from many is research.
 A bus station is where a bus stops.  A train station is where a train stops.  My desk is a work station.
Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.       
I used to be indecisive.  Now I'm not sure.
I always take life with a grain of salt . . . plus a slice of lemon . . . and a shot of tequila.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.